Fifth Annual Drovers Golf Day - Saturday 29th October 2011

What an epic day of Droving! Where do we start? Well with the golf day goddammit.

9 players took to the surprisingly quiet and well-kempt landscape of Richmond Park for the 5th DCC Golf Day. In a DCCGD first, play started on time despite some long journeys being made and Senior walking to the course (before, naturally, being made to go out in the first group). After some jiggery-pokery with the groups, after Ted and Matt's wayward radars forced them to go it alone as a 2-ball to prevent slow play, the boys settled in to a typically-mixed selection of shot-making, attire and banter.

Cutting to the chase, the results were as follows:

1.   Brearley (82 gross, 33 points)

2.   Hill (83 gross, 33 points)

3.   Richards (86 gross, 31 points)

4.   Bruce (89 gross, 34 points)

5.   Hodgson (96 gross, 34 points)

6.   Dawson (97 gross, 29 points)

7.   Hern (101 gross, 29 points)

8.   Bailey (104 gross, 31 points)

9.   Teodorczyk (110 gross, 25 points)

So, a second successive win for Breasty by the smallest of margins - perhaps he can now buy himself that trophy! Hillsy now leads him 3-2 in the overall mix. Congratulations too to Brucie and Welshman for sharing the points victory. The handicapping committee will meet more thoroughly next year to set levels based now on several scorecards (rather then everyone nominating their own handicap on the first tee). That said the closeness of the contest meant that suggestions were pretty spot on which is a credit to all.

Some other scoring achievements of note:

·        Gross birdies for Brucie (5th), Breasty (15th) and Blade (4th)

·        4-pointers (i.e. net eagles) for Brucie (5th), Welshman (1st and 7th), Breasty (15th), Ted (5th) and Matt (5th and 15th).

In other prizes, I reckon Blade should take best-dressed while he was also nearest the pin on the 18th (personally I enjoyed taking a driver on the 154-yard 9th and putting it to 8 feet). Wales was the official longest drive but I think (im)morally it should go to Hillsy for hitting a practice drive off the 1st tee into the netting that runs along the side of the driving range. The ball shot straight through said netting, flew across the range and into the other side net having briefly threatened some nearby tower blocks. Magic darts.

I won't even get started on the evening as others can fill you all in and I had to bolt at 9.20 anyway. Needless to say beerage, tomato ketchup and cake featured prominently in an epic evening. The Grand Union and immediate environs may never be the same again. The contest between Teams A and B I think finished 9-9. Award winners will go up on the website in the next day or so. Just wanted to say a massive thanks and general reeeeee-spec to Sharpey for his game show work - some of the freshest and funniest mix ever introduced to the Droving arena - and everyone for bringing A-games. Truly special scenes.

For now

008

 
Fourth Annual Drovers Golf Day - Saturday 30th October 2010
 
On what was always going to be a mild, pleasant day (apart from a sharp shower) the Drovers gathered for the latest instalment. A little short on numbers due to a variety of OK and not-so-OK excuses, 6 sporting legends tore up the form book at Richmond Park. The results tell just part of the story, with some highlights including Weslos nailing his first ever shot on a full-size course to within 15 feet, Kimbo playing a glorious approach only to have his ball picked up by a senile Billy Connelly lookalike, Paddy's pitch going ball(s)-deep into the green (literally) and many others.

The scores on the doors (in gross order) were:

Breasty (75 gross, 66 net and 39 points)
Hillsy (78 gross, 69 net and 36 points)
Kimbo (98 gross, 77 net and 30 points)
Paddy (98 gross, 77 net and 29 points)
Wes (99 gross, 71 net and 34 points)
Ted (104 gross, 76 net and 29 points)

Scoring highlights included Ted's first ever genuine birdie, net eagles for Ted and Kimbo, Wes breaking the ton barrier at the first time of asking and Breasty doing the back 9 in 2 over. Hillpiece may have taken the overall honours but for a couple of uncharacteristic blobs including a trip to the foliage on the 17th that prompted the shocking removal of comedy headgear.

Congratulations to Breasty for being the first non-Hill to win one of these.  In other news Wes won rookie (and hustler) of the year, Breasty nearest the pin, Ted longest drive (by default with 151 yards using a driver). The best dressed came down to a catwalk showdown between Breasty and Paddy, which ended up with a share of the sudoku puzzle book.

All in all good times.
 
Third Annual Drovers Golf Day - Saturday 26th September 2009
 
The sun shone for the Third Annual Drovers Golf Day, with Richmond Park once again the venue for the usual frolics.
 
Perhaps we're all getting old but, despite the earlyish meet time of 11.00, all attending Drovers were ready to tee off on time.  The first item of note was the wide range of attire that was brought out for the event - a plethora of tweed, long socks, Drovers-branded apparel and headwear (including 2 rubber farm animals).  Breasty was able to make it despite a near road rage incident with a motorist who wasn't too sure of his leopard-print headband (or was it the standard issue EC Harris canary yellow shirt?).  Anyway, once Drovers had stocked up on butties and coffee, it was time to hit the course.  10 teed off for the chukka and the genius can be summarised thus:
 
Best Dressed - Senior.  The usual tight competition that was decided by contributions from the floor and I think Senior got the nod, mainly for sporting a piece of rubber chicken-themed headgear for the entire round.
 
Worst Dressed - Teddy.  Also from contributions, but also a self-nomination, Teddy was in two minds as to what to wear and in fact ended up with no comedy/Droving items on his person.
 
Longest Drive - Woodsy.  Due to (what he says) were operational concerns (e.g., a ditch running across the fairway at an inopportune point) and going out in the first group, Woodsy changed the hole on which this applied.  He eventually settled on the par-4 eighth, and promptly drove the green.  Needless to say he 3-putted.
 
Nearest the Pin - Woodsy.  A similar story.  This time the 16th was the theatre of choice and Woodsy stuck it to about 20 feet.  No-one got inside him (so to speak).
 
Points - Rodders (38).  Rodders filled a space on the team, hustled on the handicap and romped home with 38 points.  A welcome return to the Droving fold.
 
Scores - Notable mentions for Teddy (109), Tomo (105), Senior (92), Kinsey (90), Paddy (90), Welshman (89) and Rodders (83).  Officially joint second were Woodsy and Breasty with 86, with Hillsy completing the hat-trick of Drovers Golf triumphs with a 79.
 
Most of the players were then joined by partners, plus Pecker and Charlie for the evening food and drink smackdown.  Judging by how busy the place was, Reds has never had such a lucrative night as the Drovers got stuck in at the bar and provided a constant stream of custom from table to bar and back again.  All prize-winners had to shoe booze, accompanied by as many of the prizes as possible.  The prize fund of £2.72 was wisely spent at Wilkinson and included a Curly Wurly, Finger of Fudge (don't) and jelly.  Perhaps the strongest episode was saved for Hillsy, who got stuck in to a litre jug of beer contributions, wine and condiments from the table.
 
Until next time.
 
MT
 
 
Second Annual Drovers Golf Day, 21st September 2008 - Organised and written by M.Teodorczyk
 
Forget Valhalla, the eyes of the sporting world were on Richmond Park on Sunday 21st September, as eight intrepid Drovers pooled their collective genius into the Second Annual Drovers CC Golf Day.  It was a glorious late summer's day, which was further lit up (most of the time) by some sparkling strokeplay and the high comedy that typifies Droving.
 
The pre and post game activities went pretty much to form, as some good chaps arrived in time, some (me) arrived to pay up just as we were meant to be teeing off followed by Nailz and, as we were on the first tee, Paddy.  All got straight on it though and there were many prizes up for grabs.  The prize fund grew to £17 this year, to include such delights as a Haloween mask, a Danielle Steel novel, a bottle of Reggae Reggae Sauce and 66p pocket calculators and were distributed thus:
 
 
Best Dressed - Paddy and Nailz.  

A critically-important competition, which was hard-fought.  While a shout goes out to Kimbo in third, there was a truly great struggle between the top two.  In the green corner, Nailz with a splendidly-garish luminous, high-visibility Adidas performance base layer top, complete with forest green slacks and green plastic visor.  In the blue and red corner, Paddy with Drovers cap, tie and jumper, white shirt and long socks.  Paddy just shaded it but both efforts were worthy of prizes. 

Worst Dressed - Teddy.

Having dug out a brown and green Ryder Cup cap, I tried to co-ordinate the entire outfit accordingly.  The thick brown trousers didn't really work on a warm afternoon, and ensured that the humidity factor remained high downtown.  The olive green shirt looked a bit dull, and was complemented after the 4th by a dollop of tomato ketchup, acquired from Maggie's snack van.  Maggie attracted quite a bit of attention from the Drovers, although she didn't get my particular line when asking for a napkin of "it's all over my face and hands".  I was referring to ketchup but thought it would take her back to her days in the Hungarian, err, 'film' industry.  Oh well.

Longest Drive - Hillsy.  

With the 18th the only par 5, JRV summoned up his remaining reserves of strength to smash one down the fairway.  He'd already warmed up with one of about 280 yards on the 16th as a warning shot. 

Nearest the Pin - Paddy.  

With the world watching, the chaps in Match 2 found their range instantly at the 1st, and both scored pars.

Handicap Winner - Teddy.  

That's golfing handicap, by the way.  Having failed badly last year, I had a start of 31 shots over Hillsy and at least 16 on the rest of the field.  Welshman came close in this one, but ultimately my 100 (my best round of golf ever!) gave me a net 69 in this competition which was to prove unbeatable.  Recovery was the order of the day, chipping in at the par-3 first having lost a ball, and parring the par-3 10th by fluffing my tee shot and pitching to 4 feet.  Lack of an 8 or higher on the card was remarkable.

Third - Welshman.  A stunning upturn in form from the Prince of Wales, smashing 4 pars on the way to an 89.  Some booming drives off the tee and a monster putt saw him through.

Second - Senior.  7 pars produced a round of 86 on his Droving Golf debut.

Winner - Hillsy.  A birdie and 9 pars, including a pitch in on the 3rd, gave him a score of 39 both out and in for a total of 78.


Chaps, please feel free to elaborate on my rather thin-looking descriptions of your fine exploits.  Paddy got a birdie on the 11th, but there were so many stories that could keep me typing all morning.  The scores though were as follows:

Teddy 100, Kimbo 95, Paddy 93, Lenny 90, Nailz 90, Welshman 89, Jonno 86, Hillsy 78.

Well played, gentlemen and let's gather once again next year for the third instalment.

Teddage 008

 

 
First Annual Drovers Golf Day, 3rd June 2007 - Organised and written by M.Teodorczyk
 
Big love here to all who played in our first golf day on the 3rd of June.  We toughed it out in the humid conditions (except for Shorty/Blade/Welsh/Markby who used buggies) and got round with a mixture of brilliant flashes and dire, swearing-inducing moments.  I could wax lyrical for hours, but the awards were distributed thus:
 
Highest Score   -    Markers took it with 122, but that's not bad considering that's his first time on a full course.  My 117 threatened.
 
Best Dressed    -    Breasty's Collina top / stripey sock / golf shoe combo conquered all before him.
 
Worst Dressed  -    Many of us dared, but it had to go to Welsh and Markers for sharing a buggy all day in their pink and grey pastel shades.
 
Longest Drive    -    Shorty, Blade (I think) and Woodman all boomed big off the tee, but Paddy found the short stuff and took the prize.
 
Nearest the Pin  -    I was the only Drover to find the top table on 16 so took the honours.   
 
Birdies        -    Kinsey on the 3rd and Paddy on the 13th 
 
Joint Second    -    After a close battle, Woodman and Blade shot 87 to share second
 
Winner        -    Hillsy battled through the tension to come back in 37 and sneak through with an 86.
 
As well as the top 3, well done also to Shorty, Kimbo, Breasty, Paddy and Welshman for shooting between 91 and 101 and showing me how to do it!
 
Cheers and looking forward to the next one.
 
MT 008